Blogspot is no better.

I keep running away from James, and further from my roots.

F this.


Sorry guys.

But this just isnt working.

(yes james, its true)



That means "best party/time/experience ever" in German.

Actually, I don't know. Our German 1st AC on "The United States of Tara" taught it to Keir and I but I just kinda mumble it and make my own words up. Thats all that German is really. Some guy who put too much peanut butter in his PB&J and then had the privilege of creating a language. Lucky shit.

Life is good, you know? My days have been filled up with filming and meetings about filming. John Corbett plays my papasan and was also the voice over guy for Applebee's. For a guy that used to have long hair he says some pretty prolific things, but I find myself zoning out and thinking "Man, I want some popcorn shrimp for just $5.99"

Who decided that grass was the perfect go-to ground cover? Dirt is fine. Sometimes I prefer it! At least dirt doesnt make me all itchy and feel like I'm in a Tide commercial.

I feel as though everything I say is pointless! And then I turn to John and he says "Just read me what you've written and I'll add to it. You know, something like fiddle faddle fing fang fing."

I'm surrounded by bad bloggers.

I need to hang out with Diablo Cody more. And P.Diddy. Those bitches no how to hold an audience. I can barely hold my cell phone without dropping it.

OH! Oh! oh! I remember something good. I go to this amazing organic grocery store, and part of it has juice bar. I always feel like a dick-healthnut-wannabe when I show up in my non-biodeisel car with my cotton t shirts and mui mui bag. But whatever the juice is fabulous. So anyway, there are all these guys that look like they need a monkey to pick the bugs and shit out of their hair there and one guy goes:

"You gunna come over tonight?"

The other man looks puzzled.

"Yeah man, its meditation night."
"Yeah, man. It's a full moon. We get crazy."
"Oh sweet. Whos going?"
"You know the Pineapple Tribe? All those guys. But meditating"
"I dunno man...."
"No. Dude. You gotta go. Should be really positive"

I love organic peer pressure.


Loyal Dog Returns to Owner's Funeral

Ever since Sam was a puppy, he rarely left his owner's side.

When his owner Teddy Crockarell lost his battle with cancer last Monday, his wife Marcene believes Sam must have sensed something was wrong.

The dog, who wears an electric fence collar, ran away from the couple's home on Kimbrough Road.

Two and a half days later, after searching for Sam, the family arrived at a church on Trenton Road, over six miles from their home, for Teddy's funeral and discovered Sam was waiting for them.

Marcene Crockarell said, "He was just shivering and sitting there by the doors. We just lost it and all we were doing was hollering, 'Sam! Sam!' and here he comes and he was just all over all three of us."

There is no way to know what prompted Sam, who had never left home on foot, to run away and end up at a church he'd never seen, but his family has a theory.

"If he walked those six miles he was looking for his papa... but he found him, and that's what's good about this whole situation, he found him and he found his way back here," said Marcene Crockarell's son-in-law Howard.

Sam is a two-and-a-half-year-old Dachsund.




I don't even know what to say.

Oh wait. I do.

This lead "singer". Is he on crack, or was he just raised to believe that we all have and should bring our our inner porcupine?


Groom that shit!

And did you see that guy NEXT to him? He has to cut an actual hole out of the top of his hats and doo rag in order for his luscious wax knots to protrude out and over and on to his shoulder.

Unfortunately, there is nothing funny to say about the other two guys in the band. They are normal and are just there because maybe they can play an instrument. Or maybe not, I can't say since I can't read xXxsheetmusicxXx.

As for me lovemuffins, I'm feeling much better. I met the writers and a few other important people in production realm of United States of Tara. Everyone seems really eager and excited(as am I ^___^;;;). Also, yeah I'm trying to act as cool as my character Kate by learning a bunch about Tokyo fashions and Anime. So if I start making weird little typing faces like the above or say things like "kawaii" just pretend I'm cool enough to do it.

Seriously though, check out my new favorite show Strawberry Marshmellow. You can watch a few episode on Youtube and its kind of mind blowing.



I have the flu, la la la la.

I'm at the point of my flu/headcold that I'm just waiting around the puke. It's gunna happen. DAMMIT! UGH! Whyyyyy meeeee.

As far as lifelife goes. Here is the rundown.

NY trip.
Clean bathroom.
Miu Miu.
Ziploc bags.
$5000 Ballet Costume.
Heavy head.
Big Tee.
Left Nostril.
Station to Station.
Wooden painted.
Periot Le Fou.
Sing Song.
The Magic Mountain.
In just.

Whats your rundown? Comment with it!




I love tomato.


p.s. I am finished filming on thursday, videos and pics to come!


I don't ask for enough.

I'm posting videos of things that interest me. Things that have been on my mind for the past week.

Take a look, they are all pretty short. And comment below your thoughts. Lets get a group of thinkers together.

If all goes well I want to video chat with some of you like a little mini interview and broadcast it live through myspace. If you are interested or have a topic you'd like to discuss, bring it on!


QUESTIONS: Is it real? How did it happen? How does it make you feel emotionally- scared, angry, sad, worried, curious, etc.

QUESTIONS: Do you find this to being the beginning of "human advertisement" or just a cool new fashion trend? How to you think it will effect you to walk around with a light up shirt that reads " INDIANA JONES 4- OUR IN THEATERS MAY 22". Hot? or not?

QUESTIONS: What do you think that is? Real? Manmade? And what is its purpose?

HELP ME. I want(I need) your thoughts before my brain starts writing depressing songs about the past.




hello lovewaffles.

I'm trying to post more regularly to get back into the groove of things. On top of that I have loads to tell you.

Firstly, a curious thing happened today. I blew a burp into my sister face, stopping her from breathing. I was so surprised by my actions that I burst out laughing. Well. I tried to burst out laughing. All that really came out was a grunt. My sister is still making fun of me for it and its been between 5 and 7 hours since the happenings. I think that noise is going to have long lasting power in the "hey-this-would-be-a-good-time-to-embarrass-my-sister" mental filing cabinet.

Secondly, Chef kicked my ass at Smash Bros. He's way too skilled and he was even Olimar(who I always believed was a pointless character until now; silly me). Although, I will save my ego a little bit by saying that my internet was glitching like a ho...so maybe my reputation will proceed me in the very near future. If not, please play me if you are very unskilled.

I get a lot of questioned about what songs I listen to. So I thought I'd put together a power mix.

Gigantic - Pixies
Dirty Boots - Sonic Youth
Walk it Out - Breeders
Black Mirror - Arcade Fire
I'm Designer - Queens of the Stone Age
In Particular - Blonde Redhead
The Greatest - Cat Power
Something - The Willowz
While My Guitar Gently Weeps - Beatles

WARNING TO SERIOUS MUSIC FANS: I know okay! Those songs are the obvious choices. Whatever though. They are popular for a reason. Think of it as building a doorway for new fans! They gotta start with the easier stuff to digest.

WARNING TO NEW MUSIC LISTENERS: Have open ears. A few years ago I didn't like it either.

As for new exciting serious business news. I booked a movie! I start May 28th. The next paragraph will make you piss yourself probably definitely:

On top of that, Myspace has contacted me asking if I would be their next "Rising Star" on Myspace Celebrity! So to go along with that, they are sending me my very on Flip Camera(its in the mail as we speak) to do DAILY(are you dying yet) video blogs.

YES! YES! YES!!!!!!!

So not only will you see my normal nonsensical collage, but you will get a first had look at the film I'm doing as well:)

More news and ideas to come,


I've seen a film.

The award-winning short I did entitled "The Babysitter" is out and ready for your enjoyment!

Tell your friends.

p.s. I can't wait to brawl all of those who gave me their Super Smash Bros friend codes. We are gunna have a party!
p.p.s. I also go Mario Kart if anyone is interested....


Bunnies and Traps

is returning.

The issue: A NOTEBOOK.

Everyone, get a notebook and begin your doodles and writing. We will be compiling a book that looks like a kids journal or diary. I want all of you to participate. You heard?



Dingle Dangle/ Family Ghost ft. Baby Mongrol

Dear lovely humans who read,

I'm writing to you from a brain who has played too much Super Smash Bros. Now that I have stepped away from it all I question: "Why do those nintendo guys have to fight so much? Why must we bring swords and fire flowers into this?" I propose a new game.


Same game, better communication.

Mario, instead of fighting with Link for defeating Evil-Taken-Over-By-Purple-Badness-Peach because you think its your beloved- talk it over! Say, "Hey! Why'd you mess with my boo, etc." I'm sure Link would gladly offer an explanation. Henceforth, it would not make for a very exciting game. But it would offer great learning tools for future endeavors.

In other grand ambitions, it's windy. The sun was out today. And I have nothing to say.

John really wanted a blog but has nothing to contribute except the weather report. Which we don't need being that the day is over. Who cares about what the weather was 6 hours ago? I lived it! Kinda. I actually didn't leave my house today because I was Brawling it out with the Ice Climbers and Meta Knight. I'm exhausted.

"We made masks yesterday" - John

Yes. Yes we did. Thank you. Another remark of the past.



Hows everyone feeling? I guess blogs are supposed to be one-sided, but I'm curious.

As for me, I'm cool. There was a slow leak in my tire so I took it to get fixed. I asked the man after if it was a sharks tooth that did it; he said yes, but it was a very odd shark. A shark that had screws for teeth. Its probably an ancient artifact.

I just saw on Krystens site the picture from the Teen Hair Magazine.....does anyone else think the picture looks NOTHING like me? I don't know if thats good or bad, I just did a double take....

I've been listening to Cat Power "The Greatest" a lot....it got a ton of critical acclaim but I can't help but slightly disagree. She is the coolest but I find the CD a little redundant. But maybe I'm just a cynic today. Tuesdays are boring. I've tried working on several different things today(i.e. clean my room, finish a song, go over script, write script, watch movie, beat Super Mario Galaxy) but I can't seem to stick to them. I just feel like some aimless ant ghost, gliding about with no purpose. Maybe I'll bake. Cookies even.

My dog has something wrong with her liver so she is drinking a lot of water. QVC is playing in the background because I'm enjoying the excitement they all get over the most disgusting horrific rings and necklaces that are over priced beyond belief.

Today was fine,


Oh! Hmmmm or "I Feel Like I'm At Home"

Well wow guys, I seem to be quite the jet-setter or not, depending upon what you believe. I dont know what to do to prove that this is IN FACT me. And what events are, IN FACT true.
(no James, there is no consipracy, but thank you for playing.)

But whatever! Boys will be boys. And ice cream melts too fast. The world goes round. I'm fine with it. So to make up for confusion and blah blah blah, PICTURES!

From my trip to Spain over the holidays.

First off:

The airport in Germany. Which is exactly how you would picture it. Schnitzl. Meat hanging from the walls, and the airport resembled Ikea to a T(Tee? Tea. Sure). I was there, in all 8 hours, 5 of them were spent on people movers.

The view of a building from my apartment in Barcelona. John and I were trying to come up with a WWWAD(What Would Wes Andersen Do?) scenario to someday film, either with or for him. What a dream,

Here I am making spaghetti for all of our baby skaters (Mute Team and ISuck) who came over for grub after a hard days skate.

John and I on the metro, going to find the mecca of skate spots. As you can see, you are doing a great job of looking out the window and scoping it all out....

Me holding up the Arc De Triomf. I touched it! A very important moment in my life.

Shortly after, John and I stumbled across what we thought was an indoor zoo. Turns out it was taxidermy, Which was even better. We spent way too much time talking about what animal we would be. I was a very rare skeleton, shown above. John was a sloth.

Here is what Spain looks like at night during the holidays.

Apparently, they dont have potted plants over there. This is the alternative.

And last but not least, a photo I took of John on the subway.



Good VS. Evil

Things that should not be happening:
Mini Persian Cats.

Hiedi Montag, in every aspect.

London being 5371 miles away from me.

Popsicle sticks. bleck.

The good things in the world:
Theodore Roosevelt

Astro Blasters with a brit

There Will be Blood for Best Picture

Zodiac Boots

Thats an insight for now!





This is the second time I have had time to post since my arrival in Rhode Island. Unfortunatly and ironically, I have only 3 days left until I leave and 1 day until picture wrap. Since its over I thought I'd least give you the photo tour of what my day usual consists of:

5:45am- Wake up to the sight of the world below me, all the hustle and bustle. And the huslters bustling thier....ho's. Just kidding. I haven't seen one prostitute in all of providence. It's probably illegal.

5:55am- Blow dry hair. Who knew?

6:35am- Rehearsal. Discussion. Love. Talking. Walking. Hands raised. Etc.

But no good rehearsal is good without a little reading.

8:00am- We film this thing. We do all the things you would guess and more. Say lines. React. Say another line. React. Maybe throw in a little character quirk. And then say another line. This photo was taking during a scene for the montage of the movie. All the girls are bored in our underground bowling alley. Pretty crazy right?

12:35pm- Lunch! Well, I don't have a picture of that. I don't want to get you all hot and bothered. But I will show you a picture of when Chris Kattan discovered the begining on someones art project. They were hills, but you'll see where his brain went.

1:50pm- Lunch is over. Touch ups are over. Now its time to work. This time on a different scene. Here is what a different part of the school looks like.

2:30pm- A discovery. John finds a note entitled: Dear Cave Woman.

"Dear Cave Woman,
I have plenty of question for you. How popular were beads? Did ever use dried animal skins for clothing? Did you ever eat the animals as well? What about polar bears? How do you feel about the polar bear? Did you ever eat a polar bear? What is the best part of the polar bear? Are they nice? Do they make for nice clothing? Have you ever riden one? Did people ever use rocks as embelishments on their clothing? I can't wait to hear your response cave woman.


2:35pm- Filming. Our beautiful and talented directors watch the scene unfold.

4:00pm- Time to go home and start all over again.

That's it folks. My life. My day. Its all there, documented. I'm thinking about making a video today for your enjoyment.

I leave you with a photo of what our PA Quimby does while we are working(and he should be too):

Miss you,